A BAD CASE OF A.S.S.

Understanding A.S.S.Advent Stress Syndrome (A.S.S.) is just a temporary mood, and it's not a sign of personal weakness. A.S.S. is a serious condition with a variety of symptoms. Emotional symptoms can include unhappiness, feeling the need to throw Lego's, claiming your brother's favorite stuffed animal as your own, restlessness, and trouble concentrating or making decisions. Physical symptoms can include screaming fits, licking the countertop in public restrooms, vague aches and pains, and changes eating or sleep patterns. For some, A.S.S. can include refusal to flush the toilet or climb into a car the conventional way.

The Advent Calendar posted in the kitchen aids communication between many areas of the brain and spinal cord that affect emotional aspects of a person's nature. It is also important in "controlling the volume" of messages about Christmas between the body and the brain.

If the Advent Calendar has unmarked boxes, the effect can be felt in both the brain and body. You can feel both the emotional and physical symptoms of A.S.S.. You too can lay on the floor each morning and vent your rage about the fat man not showing.

Many people suffer in silence while A.S.S. slowly eats away at their enjoyment of the holiday season. Some are ashamed or afraid to seek help; others try to steal caffeinated drinks. It's important to remember that A.S.S. isn't something that's "all in your head" and that it will all be over on December 26th.

The fact is, A.S.S. affects plenty of people who don't have any obvious risk factors. What's more, those around the A.S.S. are touched too.

And remember, placing all the stickers on the Advent Calendar will not speed up time. It may, however, get you on the naughty list.